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This Thanksgiving was... interesting.  Started out pretty awful because my parents were fighting a little bit, but then it got better as things cooled down.  It's my brother's last Thanksgiving in the US (he's moving to England), and he was not happy about the fighting.  He spoke up though, which was good, I don't have the backbone for that unfortunately.  Food was really good and we've been watching The Simpsons all day as it's kind of a comfort show for my family. 

The day has also been filled with helping my brother sort through and pack stuff for his move, which will be occurring on the 1st.  I'm not looking forward to him leaving, even though I don't spend much time with him anyway, but I mean, the option was always there.  He may also be the most judgy person I've ever known, but he's still my brother, you know?  He's going to reunite with his wife and son so all three of them will have left the US permanently.  My mom and I can go visit, but my dad doesn't like to fly.  It's going to be very hard, but I have to remind myself that I'll just have a cool vacation spot to visit.  Who knows, maybe I can go to the Hay Festival this coming year during the summer.

As of right now, I've been taking some time after dinner to spend a bit of quiet with my cats and they've been sleeping on me which isn't exactly rare, but it was really nice.  And in the meantime, while I'm being used as a kitty bed, I've been making my Christmas List.  I've included some doll stuff and some pagan stuff (I really need a new statue of Blodeuwedd as my cats broke my old one...), and I'm thinking of adding some crafty stuff but I don't know what.  I don't really have the room for much more.

Overall though, today was okay and it's nice to get my thoughts out here.

With a little push, I finally managed to get my butt in gear and submitted the remaining parts, essay included, for my application to grad school.  I really hope I get in but at the same time I'm exceedingly nervous.  I hope I can manage my time well enough.  I should be able to as I'd be able to make it to my classes without much trouble and still be able to have D&D on Wednesdays (in-person classes are Monday & Thursday).  I know I can't do straight online courses which is why I've opted to do the hybrid option.  I'm planning on taking one or two classes so that would mean I'd graduate in 2-2.5 years.  It's going to cost $30k to do the whole program which is going to be a struggle because I've got to take out loans to do it.  But I have to remind myself that it's going to be worth it in the end.  It means I can get a full-time, and higher paying, library position and be officially called a real librarian.

I want to be able to survive on my own (for the most part).  I want to not have to rely on my mom to help me pay for my health insurance and other medical expenses.  I want to not have to worry about being able to afford things I need.  But we'll see how things go.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, I also applied to the full-time position at work so I'm hoping I get that as well.  I need all the luck I can get at this point.

I got paid today from work and it's already all gone due to bills and prior commitments (two of them are doll related).  I'm applying for a full-time position at work (I work in a public library) so I'm crossing my fingers that I can get it.  I've tried a few other times but there's always been someone else that's better suited for it.  I need to get my butt in gear and finally finish my grad school application...  The problem is that my anxiety makes it difficult for me to write this essay needed for it.

I just want to be able to have enough money that I can actually have a small savings instead of literally living paycheck to paycheck.  It's been like this for as long as I've been working.  It's frustrating, but I am glad that I don't have to worry about rent as my parents let me stay with them rent-free.  I'm very fortunate in that regard.

Someday, though, I'm going to be able to have more space to myself/my own place.  At least I hope so.  I keep seeing these things about ADUs, Additional Living Units, and I keep wondering if my parents would be amenable to that in the future.  Because part of me doesn't want to leave them since I know I'd be extremely lonely living on my own (I'm single and divorced).  I like having privacy but I also like having a proper space for myself and my three cats-- away from them and their three dogs.  The thing is, I lived at the house I'm in now "on my own" for about 6 years while my parents lived and took care of my grandparents about 15 minutes away.  But now that both grandparents have passed, they're moving back into their original house, a.k.a. where I've been.  So there's this whole move going on and we're trying to get the house in order so discussion about and ADU would be out of the question at the moment.

However, I'm wondering if I can bring it up some time next year when the weather turns more to Spring and my grandparents house is sold.  We've got a big detached garage in the backyard and while it needs a lot of work, I'd be thrilled if we could turn it into a spare unit.  Or at least have it partially be.  Although, it's already got a boat in it and my dad's tools, etc.  I really hope we can do something because I'm feeling cramped again.  Maybe I can just get more shelves in the two small rooms I occupy right now.

Next paycheck will probably go to Ikea then!