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I'm going to give this place a chance, see what all the fuss is about, so here I am!
My name is Azure (he/him) and I'm a writer currently obsessed with my Dungeons and Dragons campaign. I collect Ball-Jointed Dolls and have a bunch of random collections (Pokemon, Magical Girl stuff, The Tales of Series, Little Prince, Lord of the Rings, and more). I also play Final Fantasy XIV and a variety of other games though I haven't had as much time to play lately because of my job.
I'm also pagan, focusing on the Welsh lore. Dw i'n dysgu siarad Cymraeg!
I honestly don't really know how this site works so I'm going to do a little research, but I wanted to get an introduction post out of the way. So yeah, let's goooooo!
Life Talk - Family & Work
Nov. 29th, 2023 01:46 pmMy brother is leaving for England this Friday and I know I should be sad that he's gone, but I feel like I'm coping pretty well. I keep reminding myself that we'll have a cool vacation place to go to. We've just been packing since Thanksgiving for him but it's been very stressful which is basically why I haven't been on here in a while. I've also started to accumulate things from my brother as well since he's getting rid of a lot of things, they just come to me like the PS4 and possibly his 3D printer. Fortunately I have the space for the printer in my work room.
Good news though, I had a great first performance review at my work! The "worst" part of the review was that I go too fast at tasks. I need to slow down more to better ensure accuracy and the like. I'm just so used to going fast with all my other jobs I've had (retail and food services) so I have to mentally tell myself to slow down, especially when it comes to things like shelving.
Other than that, nothing much has been happening. Waiting on hearing more for the MLIS program and this full-time position, though I was told that the interview should be sometime next week.
Wish me luck!
Good news though, I had a great first performance review at my work! The "worst" part of the review was that I go too fast at tasks. I need to slow down more to better ensure accuracy and the like. I'm just so used to going fast with all my other jobs I've had (retail and food services) so I have to mentally tell myself to slow down, especially when it comes to things like shelving.
Other than that, nothing much has been happening. Waiting on hearing more for the MLIS program and this full-time position, though I was told that the interview should be sometime next week.
Wish me luck!
Life Talk - Thanksgiving
Nov. 23rd, 2023 07:14 pmThis Thanksgiving was... interesting. Started out pretty awful because my parents were fighting a little bit, but then it got better as things cooled down. It's my brother's last Thanksgiving in the US (he's moving to England), and he was not happy about the fighting. He spoke up though, which was good, I don't have the backbone for that unfortunately. Food was really good and we've been watching The Simpsons all day as it's kind of a comfort show for my family.
The day has also been filled with helping my brother sort through and pack stuff for his move, which will be occurring on the 1st. I'm not looking forward to him leaving, even though I don't spend much time with him anyway, but I mean, the option was always there. He may also be the most judgy person I've ever known, but he's still my brother, you know? He's going to reunite with his wife and son so all three of them will have left the US permanently. My mom and I can go visit, but my dad doesn't like to fly. It's going to be very hard, but I have to remind myself that I'll just have a cool vacation spot to visit. Who knows, maybe I can go to the Hay Festival this coming year during the summer.
As of right now, I've been taking some time after dinner to spend a bit of quiet with my cats and they've been sleeping on me which isn't exactly rare, but it was really nice. And in the meantime, while I'm being used as a kitty bed, I've been making my Christmas List. I've included some doll stuff and some pagan stuff (I really need a new statue of Blodeuwedd as my cats broke my old one...), and I'm thinking of adding some crafty stuff but I don't know what. I don't really have the room for much more.
Overall though, today was okay and it's nice to get my thoughts out here.
The day has also been filled with helping my brother sort through and pack stuff for his move, which will be occurring on the 1st. I'm not looking forward to him leaving, even though I don't spend much time with him anyway, but I mean, the option was always there. He may also be the most judgy person I've ever known, but he's still my brother, you know? He's going to reunite with his wife and son so all three of them will have left the US permanently. My mom and I can go visit, but my dad doesn't like to fly. It's going to be very hard, but I have to remind myself that I'll just have a cool vacation spot to visit. Who knows, maybe I can go to the Hay Festival this coming year during the summer.
As of right now, I've been taking some time after dinner to spend a bit of quiet with my cats and they've been sleeping on me which isn't exactly rare, but it was really nice. And in the meantime, while I'm being used as a kitty bed, I've been making my Christmas List. I've included some doll stuff and some pagan stuff (I really need a new statue of Blodeuwedd as my cats broke my old one...), and I'm thinking of adding some crafty stuff but I don't know what. I don't really have the room for much more.
Overall though, today was okay and it's nice to get my thoughts out here.
Life Talk - What to do...
Nov. 21st, 2023 07:51 pmI'm trying to think of what to do with for most of tomorrow. I mean, tomorrow is D&D but I'm also hoping to get something else done on my day off before Thanksgiving. There's laundry, but that's... well, laundry. I could do more cleaning and organizing but I don't know what I should clean/organize.
I could try and make something. Maybe do some more painting, but after my last one I feel like I'm in a rut and doing the same style of painting over and over. I could do some spell work, see if I can improve my chances for this job and grad school. Though, I haven't done any work like that in a long time and I'm rusty as heck. I could make some witch balls/Yule baubles. Might do that.
I've got a bit of a shopping addiction and what I really wish I could do is go out and just buy some doll stuff. Except I have no money right now. Maybe I'll make a list in terms of priority of what I want to get from shops online (doll stuff, pagan-ish themed stuff, etc.) and then see how much it would cost me/see how long it would take me to save for it all. I think that's what I'll do tonight but as for tomorrow still...
Why do I never think of anything to do on Wednesdays? I always have Wednesday off and every time, I forget to plan something.
I could try and make something. Maybe do some more painting, but after my last one I feel like I'm in a rut and doing the same style of painting over and over. I could do some spell work, see if I can improve my chances for this job and grad school. Though, I haven't done any work like that in a long time and I'm rusty as heck. I could make some witch balls/Yule baubles. Might do that.
I've got a bit of a shopping addiction and what I really wish I could do is go out and just buy some doll stuff. Except I have no money right now. Maybe I'll make a list in terms of priority of what I want to get from shops online (doll stuff, pagan-ish themed stuff, etc.) and then see how much it would cost me/see how long it would take me to save for it all. I think that's what I'll do tonight but as for tomorrow still...
Why do I never think of anything to do on Wednesdays? I always have Wednesday off and every time, I forget to plan something.
With a little push, I finally managed to get my butt in gear and submitted the remaining parts, essay included, for my application to grad school. I really hope I get in but at the same time I'm exceedingly nervous. I hope I can manage my time well enough. I should be able to as I'd be able to make it to my classes without much trouble and still be able to have D&D on Wednesdays (in-person classes are Monday & Thursday). I know I can't do straight online courses which is why I've opted to do the hybrid option. I'm planning on taking one or two classes so that would mean I'd graduate in 2-2.5 years. It's going to cost $30k to do the whole program which is going to be a struggle because I've got to take out loans to do it. But I have to remind myself that it's going to be worth it in the end. It means I can get a full-time, and higher paying, library position and be officially called a real librarian.
I want to be able to survive on my own (for the most part). I want to not have to rely on my mom to help me pay for my health insurance and other medical expenses. I want to not have to worry about being able to afford things I need. But we'll see how things go.
As I mentioned in a previous entry, I also applied to the full-time position at work so I'm hoping I get that as well. I need all the luck I can get at this point.
I want to be able to survive on my own (for the most part). I want to not have to rely on my mom to help me pay for my health insurance and other medical expenses. I want to not have to worry about being able to afford things I need. But we'll see how things go.
As I mentioned in a previous entry, I also applied to the full-time position at work so I'm hoping I get that as well. I need all the luck I can get at this point.
I did a ton of cleaning in my bedroom today and managed to move my books away from the bottom shelves so that one of my cats can't bap at them with her claws to get my attention. She does this even when I do give her attention, I just don't know what she wants sometimes. But anyway! I managed to move some of my pagan books up onto my dresser which looks really nice! And I managed to condense my fiction books to one bookcase so I could move my deity altars to those shelves and have better access to them.
I'm currently in an upswing in regards to my pagan practice and Blodeuwedd and Gwynn ap Nudd have taken the forefront of my mind. I'm so excited to study more!
For a while I was feeling super cramped and I need to spruce things up every so often to avoid that feeling so this whole endeavor helped a lot. And after my parents finish watching a movie, I'm going to see if I can help my mom clean more in the house to organize things better.
Also, anyone have any ideas on what to do with a tiny card catalog? The drawers are maybe about 4"x3" plus like, 6" depth. I have one, I love it, I just don't know what to do with it and it's got 12 drawers. I don't know what to store in it. Maybe tea bags... But I'm open to ideas!
I'm currently in an upswing in regards to my pagan practice and Blodeuwedd and Gwynn ap Nudd have taken the forefront of my mind. I'm so excited to study more!
For a while I was feeling super cramped and I need to spruce things up every so often to avoid that feeling so this whole endeavor helped a lot. And after my parents finish watching a movie, I'm going to see if I can help my mom clean more in the house to organize things better.
Also, anyone have any ideas on what to do with a tiny card catalog? The drawers are maybe about 4"x3" plus like, 6" depth. I have one, I love it, I just don't know what to do with it and it's got 12 drawers. I don't know what to store in it. Maybe tea bags... But I'm open to ideas!
I got paid today from work and it's already all gone due to bills and prior commitments (two of them are doll related). I'm applying for a full-time position at work (I work in a public library) so I'm crossing my fingers that I can get it. I've tried a few other times but there's always been someone else that's better suited for it. I need to get my butt in gear and finally finish my grad school application... The problem is that my anxiety makes it difficult for me to write this essay needed for it.
I just want to be able to have enough money that I can actually have a small savings instead of literally living paycheck to paycheck. It's been like this for as long as I've been working. It's frustrating, but I am glad that I don't have to worry about rent as my parents let me stay with them rent-free. I'm very fortunate in that regard.
Someday, though, I'm going to be able to have more space to myself/my own place. At least I hope so. I keep seeing these things about ADUs, Additional Living Units, and I keep wondering if my parents would be amenable to that in the future. Because part of me doesn't want to leave them since I know I'd be extremely lonely living on my own (I'm single and divorced). I like having privacy but I also like having a proper space for myself and my three cats-- away from them and their three dogs. The thing is, I lived at the house I'm in now "on my own" for about 6 years while my parents lived and took care of my grandparents about 15 minutes away. But now that both grandparents have passed, they're moving back into their original house, a.k.a. where I've been. So there's this whole move going on and we're trying to get the house in order so discussion about and ADU would be out of the question at the moment.
However, I'm wondering if I can bring it up some time next year when the weather turns more to Spring and my grandparents house is sold. We've got a big detached garage in the backyard and while it needs a lot of work, I'd be thrilled if we could turn it into a spare unit. Or at least have it partially be. Although, it's already got a boat in it and my dad's tools, etc. I really hope we can do something because I'm feeling cramped again. Maybe I can just get more shelves in the two small rooms I occupy right now.
Next paycheck will probably go to Ikea then!
I just want to be able to have enough money that I can actually have a small savings instead of literally living paycheck to paycheck. It's been like this for as long as I've been working. It's frustrating, but I am glad that I don't have to worry about rent as my parents let me stay with them rent-free. I'm very fortunate in that regard.
Someday, though, I'm going to be able to have more space to myself/my own place. At least I hope so. I keep seeing these things about ADUs, Additional Living Units, and I keep wondering if my parents would be amenable to that in the future. Because part of me doesn't want to leave them since I know I'd be extremely lonely living on my own (I'm single and divorced). I like having privacy but I also like having a proper space for myself and my three cats-- away from them and their three dogs. The thing is, I lived at the house I'm in now "on my own" for about 6 years while my parents lived and took care of my grandparents about 15 minutes away. But now that both grandparents have passed, they're moving back into their original house, a.k.a. where I've been. So there's this whole move going on and we're trying to get the house in order so discussion about and ADU would be out of the question at the moment.
However, I'm wondering if I can bring it up some time next year when the weather turns more to Spring and my grandparents house is sold. We've got a big detached garage in the backyard and while it needs a lot of work, I'd be thrilled if we could turn it into a spare unit. Or at least have it partially be. Although, it's already got a boat in it and my dad's tools, etc. I really hope we can do something because I'm feeling cramped again. Maybe I can just get more shelves in the two small rooms I occupy right now.
Next paycheck will probably go to Ikea then!
D&D Talk - Bonus Day!
Nov. 16th, 2023 06:02 pmYesterday was my group's regularly scheduled weekly D&D session and we're doing a bonus one today. Normally we just play every Wednesday but we're going on a hiatus in December for the holidays/people traveling, but we've been trying to do more sessions up until then. It's a little stressful at times, but I love playing with my group so it's still really good.
We play 4e and my character, Zenlias, is a Winterkin Eladrin swordmage with a focus on ice abilities. His whole deal is that he's trying to be reunited with his wife, who happens to have turned into the Raven Queen after her death. He's now on a mission to get to the Shadowfell and find her and return to her side. The kicker is that even though he should be able to just die and end up in the Shadowfell, he's been cursed to be immortal. What should kill him, doesn't.
However, he hasn't tested that fact in a long time and he's gotten to the point where he's not sure if that would even be the best option for him. He's growing to care for his companions (one in particular more than the others) and doesn't want to leave them. At least, he's conflicted about it. He says that he doesn't care about the motives/goals of 90% of the party but that's really just him lashing out due to his own issues. He's a passionate guy, for good and for bad and I love that about him.
I'm planning on posting more of my writing about him, especially things about his backstory. But yeah! I'm excited for D&D!
We play 4e and my character, Zenlias, is a Winterkin Eladrin swordmage with a focus on ice abilities. His whole deal is that he's trying to be reunited with his wife, who happens to have turned into the Raven Queen after her death. He's now on a mission to get to the Shadowfell and find her and return to her side. The kicker is that even though he should be able to just die and end up in the Shadowfell, he's been cursed to be immortal. What should kill him, doesn't.
However, he hasn't tested that fact in a long time and he's gotten to the point where he's not sure if that would even be the best option for him. He's growing to care for his companions (one in particular more than the others) and doesn't want to leave them. At least, he's conflicted about it. He says that he doesn't care about the motives/goals of 90% of the party but that's really just him lashing out due to his own issues. He's a passionate guy, for good and for bad and I love that about him.
I'm planning on posting more of my writing about him, especially things about his backstory. But yeah! I'm excited for D&D!
One more entry for today-- On a whim I decided to go to my local forest preserve and got a bunch of great shots of Rowan! Here's one of them, the rest you can find on my flickr!
BJD Talk - Rowan and Lune
Nov. 14th, 2023 02:01 pmChanged up Rowan's eyes and I LOVE it! The only issue is that they're a little too small so there's gaping. However, I'm going to look into getting a slightly bigger pair with smaller irises so they can fit better. I also added a little extra to her faceup and now she has teeth! I love cute little teeth on dolls!
And then here's my Lami that I've named Lune! Her story is that she's a Moon Goddess. I had the dress custom made for a previous doll I owned years ago and didn't have anyone to wear it for so long. She just looks perfect in it!
And then here's my Lami that I've named Lune! Her story is that she's a Moon Goddess. I had the dress custom made for a previous doll I owned years ago and didn't have anyone to wear it for so long. She just looks perfect in it!
BJD Talk - Heads have arrived!
Nov. 13th, 2023 07:25 pmAfter a long nightmare of no communication and my patience wearing thin, the doll heads I shipped out in July finally arrived today! I sent out three Fairyland Minifee heads (Alicia, Lami, and Honoka) and while it's too dark to go out right now and take any really good pictures, I managed to take an okay one of my Minifee Alicia.
Meet Rowan! I still have to figure out her story, but at the moment, I think she's going to be a witch who runs a tea shop!
And as pretty as the Minifee bodies are, I'm actually considering doing a hybrid with Doll Family-A's 1/4 body since the posing looks to be so much better. I've got one on order through Alice's Collection (custom colored) for a Resinsoul Xi head I dyed to be a beautiful brown so I figure if I like that one, I can do the same thing for Rowan. I'm just absolutely in love with this sculpt and want to spoil the absolute heck out of her and that includes making her better to pose! <3
I have a feeling that I'm going to end up doing a lot of hybriding in the future too with different bodies with Minifees. I love their head sculpts. The bodies though have been almost ruined for me because I know there's better posing out there that would work. Especially because they're not really double jointed in the knees.
But anyway! I'm happy that my dolls are finally back with me!
Meet Rowan! I still have to figure out her story, but at the moment, I think she's going to be a witch who runs a tea shop!
And as pretty as the Minifee bodies are, I'm actually considering doing a hybrid with Doll Family-A's 1/4 body since the posing looks to be so much better. I've got one on order through Alice's Collection (custom colored) for a Resinsoul Xi head I dyed to be a beautiful brown so I figure if I like that one, I can do the same thing for Rowan. I'm just absolutely in love with this sculpt and want to spoil the absolute heck out of her and that includes making her better to pose! <3
I have a feeling that I'm going to end up doing a lot of hybriding in the future too with different bodies with Minifees. I love their head sculpts. The bodies though have been almost ruined for me because I know there's better posing out there that would work. Especially because they're not really double jointed in the knees.
But anyway! I'm happy that my dolls are finally back with me!
Pagan Talk - Flower Face
Nov. 12th, 2023 09:20 pmThis was something I wrote 8 years ago in regards to my initial encounter with the Welsh deity Blodeuwedd.
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I truly believe that Blodeuwedd still guides me to this day in that I should continue to follow my heart. She still gives me comfort and even as I'm writing this, I can feel her presence. As I said in the write-up above, I can't imagine my life without her, even after all this time.
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8 years ago...
Current Day, November 2023
I truly believe that Blodeuwedd still guides me to this day in that I should continue to follow my heart. She still gives me comfort and even as I'm writing this, I can feel her presence. As I said in the write-up above, I can't imagine my life without her, even after all this time.
Writing - Mallos
Nov. 12th, 2023 09:29 amHere's a small drabble I wrote about two of my D&D OCs, Zenlias and Rhydian, that I like enough to share. I'm probably going to see about posting more about them since this is all in Zenlias' past and not in the current campaign.
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"We're going to get in trouble," Zenlias warned as the two youths entered the abandoned building, the light from the moon and stars guiding them.
"Nonsense! You only get trouble if you get caught," Rhydian assured him and beckoned Zenlias further into the building. "Besides, I wanted to show you what I found." As Zenlias moved closer, Rhydian took his hand and they walked quietly through the derelict building. Rhydian walked with his head on a swivel as he looked this way and that to take in the fallen architecture. "Do you think this used to be important?" he whispered.
Before Zenlias could reply, a plank fell from the rafters causing him to jump. "I… I don't know, but this doesn't seem exactly safe."
Rhydian squeezed the Eladrin's hand reassuringly. "We're almost there," he said, pushing a tattered curtain beyond a broken window into the center courtyard. Even though the snow was still rather abundant, the remnants of overgrown plants could be seen clear as day under the moonlight.
( Read more... )
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"We're going to get in trouble," Zenlias warned as the two youths entered the abandoned building, the light from the moon and stars guiding them.
"Nonsense! You only get trouble if you get caught," Rhydian assured him and beckoned Zenlias further into the building. "Besides, I wanted to show you what I found." As Zenlias moved closer, Rhydian took his hand and they walked quietly through the derelict building. Rhydian walked with his head on a swivel as he looked this way and that to take in the fallen architecture. "Do you think this used to be important?" he whispered.
Before Zenlias could reply, a plank fell from the rafters causing him to jump. "I… I don't know, but this doesn't seem exactly safe."
Rhydian squeezed the Eladrin's hand reassuringly. "We're almost there," he said, pushing a tattered curtain beyond a broken window into the center courtyard. Even though the snow was still rather abundant, the remnants of overgrown plants could be seen clear as day under the moonlight.
( Read more... )
